I know sadness.

"Because now we say goodnight, from our separate sides"- Death Cab For Cutie, "Brothers on a Hotel Bed"
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I know what it's like to say goodbye to a loved one, knowing it's the last time I will see him alive. And he knows it, too. Is this what foreseeing the future would feel like? ...Why would anyone wish for that power?

This has been one of the saddest weeks of my life. And for the first time, it's an almost completely selfless sadness.

I know greatness comes from suffering.

"With one simple pill we cured unhappiness and art."- A Softer World 437
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Art comes from internal pain. Van Gogh didn't cut his ear off because he was in a good mood. J.K. Rowling wasn't happy, I'm sure, living in poverty. I could literally go on until my dying breath because every artist, every author, every musician- they know great sadness. It will take HARD WORK to write something truly inspirational. I'll have to sift through layers so painful I've repressed them for years. I may cry, I may want to quit, and I may spend weeks in a depressed slump with writer's block. But if I can persevere over my body and take the reins of my unhappiness, I can do incredible things. If I can control this beast then I will have nothing to regret for the rest of my life.

(Link to the A Softer World quote.)

I know I am not a patient person.

Patience is rewarding. Patience lowers blood pressure and elevates spirits. It's priceless but can't be bought. Patience is an old dog at a shelter, waiting for a home. It's not pressing the elevator button more than once. It's breathing silence through frustration. It's picking your battles, it's a bear in the winter, it's a mental traffic light. Patience should be a mother raising a child, but that is not always the case.

Slowly, I'm learning to lie in wait.